The Empty Chair

I had a goal. A goal to give my baby breast milk for twelve months. Whether that may be through bottle or breast. With my first one, I pumped milk for 8 months but with so much we had saved up, we pretty much made it to twelve months with JUST breast milk. With my second, I wanted to do it similarly. As Abbie’s birth was quickly approaching, I had my mind made up that I was going to give breast feeding a shot. I forewarned myself that I would at least try but if she didn’t latch or I was getting too frustrated with trying that I would stop.

Breastfeeding is HARD, boy is it. No one ever tells you how hard breastfeeding actually is. All you hear is how good it is for your baby and how the bond between you and your baby will strengthen. I didn’t know there would be more sleepless nights with me crying in my bed because my boobs hurt than actual restful  nights. I didn’t know that I couldn’t go anywhere without my baby because she was exclusively breastfeeding. Worst of all, I didn’t know that I could get so upset for her not latching, that I would yell at her.

If only I had someone to tell me back then that I was going to make it to eighteen months. I guarantee that a lot less tears would have been shed. During month zero through seven, my nightly routine of bathing and feeding her became a two hour deal. It became very draining since I would be away from my family for two hours EACH NIGHT just to get her down to sleep. She would eat for about 45 minutes and then doze off while I was rocking away in the chair. Right as I put her in her bassinet, she’d wake up. I didn’t know what else to do but to start all over again with nursing her for another half hour. That was my night; just me, my chair and my baby.. each and every night. But like all else, I knew this too shall pass.

Each week, it became easier and easier to put her down. After we got our bedtime routine down to under an hour, things were more enjoyable and I began to LOVE our time we had together, just her and I. Breastfeeding became a bonding moment that I looked forward to every night.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS. The reason I keep saying it is because I am so damn proud of myself. After the twelfth month, I often got asked by my husband and other family members when I was going to stop. I just politely told then that I would be done when she is done. Side note: When did it become the “norm” to stop ALL breastfeeding at twelve months? I don’t think I’ll ever understand that.

Everything comes to an end at some point and that day was four days before her eighteen month birthday. If I said I was completely thrilled about being done with breastfeeding, I’d be lying. I think it was harder for me to let go of this phase of life than it was for her. I guess in a way I didn’t want ‘our moments’ to end. However, I knew our breastfeeding journey was soon coming to an end when she was becoming less and less interested in latching for more than 5 minutes. It was the perfect win-win for both of us to draw a line in the sand and stop.

So for now, the rocking chair where we once spent hours each night together, remains empty. Does she still ask for ‘boobies’ if she sees me naked? Always. Would I ever go back and not breastfeed her? Never. I feel there will always be a special bond that only her and I share and for that I am so grateful.



*Mamas, this post is in no way promoting breastfeeding over bottle fed over formula fed babies. This post was just simply just share my journey of hardships and joys throughout my breastfeeding experience. I support ALL mamas because we are in this together!

” As moms, we are in it together — raising the future. We are a tribe of future makers. So let’s support each other.” Marrisa Hermer

Rainy Day Blues

Picture this: It’s raining. You have two toddlers who need to let out some energy. They’re going stir-crazy because they cannot go outside. You’re on your 3rd cup of coffee but wishing it was 5:30 so you can switch to wine.. Does this sound familiar?

I’m from Phoenix, AZ where 350 days out of the year there is sun. When it is raining outside, all my kids want to do it go outside and play. That would normally be okay if it was 90 degrees outside, but not when it is 65 degrees and pouring. So my oldest, who is 3, helped me come up with fun things to do with toddlers inside when it is pouring rain outside.


Fun things to do with littles when its raining outside:

  • Bake: We made cookies this day. It was such a fun activity that took up a good amount of time. Note: A lot of patience was tested during this activity. I mean, have you tried cooking with toddlers before? However, the girls did have fun!
  • Make slime: This was another fun activity that my older one likes to do. I didn’t let me 1-year-old help make slime because my house would literally have glue all over it, but she did play with it afterwards. Scroll down for slime recipe.
  • Make a fort and read books
  • Find your child’s favorite children’s book and draw, or trace pictures from it. Let them water paint
  • Board games
  • Hide n’ seek
  • Paint nails: This is a perfect opportunity to get the little ones to sit still. Both of my girls love getting their nails painted. Just plop them by the window so they can see the rain and “voila!”
  • Building with magnetic tiles: These things are magic. They are amazing and keep them entertained for a while. Click here to purchase them!
  • Dress up: whether you have boys or girls, who doesn’t love to play dress up? Especially on a rainy day, dress up is a perfect way to pass the time.
  • Playdough
  • Make homemade popcorn and watch an agreed upon movie. It is always Hocus Pocus at this time of year.

What other fun things do you like you like to do with your kiddos when it is raining outside? I’d love to hear your ideas.




  • 1/2 tbsp of baking soda
  • 1 1/2 tbsp contact solution
  • 4 fl oz Elmers white school glue
  • your choice of food coloring



RELATIONSHIP TALK: A rainstorm and only one umbrella

There is a saying that I just recently saw that speaks real about relationships:

“No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share an umbrella and survive the storm together.”

Marriage is definitely different from what I expected it to be before getting married. This blog post has been on my mind for a while but I was not sure how I wanted to write it. I didn’t want to spill every detail of my relationship, but I also wanted to be real about my marriage and share what I’ve learned. If this blog reaches to only one person and helps save their relationship then I’ve done what I’ve set to do.

It will be three years of marriage for us in November. There are times where I know what he is going to do or say before he even says it. That’s what living together and marriage will do to you. He knows whats gets on my nerves and vice versa.

After we had our first child, I became depressed. I would literally cry over anything. When people would ask how I’m doing, I would just burst out in tears. Not because I didn’t want Brooklyn, but because I couldn’t express my emotions any other way. My husband would try his best to comfort me by asking if there was anything he could do, but frankly, that would make me even more mad and start crying more. I wanted him to KNOW why I was crying.. not ASK me. Honestly, nine times out of ten, I didn’t even know why I was crying. He would have a weekly night out with the guys and I would be alone with Brooklyn thinking “Why can’t I have that?” and ” How can he just do whatever he wants?” That got me more upset. After a while of being in a slump, divorce was often talked about between us.

I couldn’t change my husband, and until I actually changed my mentality, I knew that nothing was going to change. My husband and I had some deep heart to heart conversations about how to strengthen our marriage. And I want to share what we talked about with you:

6 things that can restore your relationship

  1. Do not compare your relationship. In my opinion, this is the biggest killer of relationships. Especially in this day and age when social media is at its highest, it is very easy to compare EVERYTHING with what every one else has. However, what this secret killer does is make you doubt what you have currently creating tension and turmoil in your life. You start resenting your spouse for them not doing something you saw another persons spouse do for them on Instagram or Facebook. Comparing your relationship with others, will not be an overnight destruction; but a long, drawn out murder to your current life.
  2. Be selfish. This is not to be how it sounds. I just mean that when you stop doing things that are purely just for you, you start forgetting who you are as a person. Allowing yourself to go to Starbucks and indulge in your latest read, or having your weekly guys night out that you have been doing for years. Not stopping what you LOVE to do just because you are married.
  3. Remember the little things. Remember when you first got married or first entered your relationship, they opened the car door or bought you flowers for no reason? Fast forward to now.. how often does that still happen? I cannot speak for everyone, but the simple, small things mean more to me than buying me the latest Michael Kors purse. However, this goes both ways. I suggest ASKING your SO (significant other) if there was anything that you did at the beginning of your relationship that you do not do now.
  4. Do not expect too much. Expecting your SO to know what you are thinking and then getting mad when they don’t do it. This may not be for everyone and I can only speak for my own marriage, but this definitely put a stress on both of us. He would expect me to do something he never told me, and vice versa. We would get mad at each other and it would turn into a big argument. Recently, my husband and I sat down and told each other what we expect out of each other as spouses. I think setting clear expectations leads to a lot fewer headaches and arguments.
  5. Say I’m Sorry when you actually mean it, not just to say it. Apologizing and saying I’m sorry have a different meaning than saying the one word ‘sorry’. It is actually taking the time to THINK about why you are apologizing to your significant other. The meaning of ‘sorry’ is often lost when someone just says it too often just because they don’t want any hard feelings.
  6. Kiss him goodnight. I, of all people, knows that this is easier said than done. When I am mad at my husband, the last thing I want to do is give him a kiss goodnight. I think it is my ego that if I give him a kiss, then it means that he won the argument. But this little gesture of a ‘kiss’ has more power than any I love you. Not only does a kiss reduce any tension, but it also releases a hormone called oxytocin or the ‘happy hormone’ that gives you and your partner an instant connection.

When all said and done, it’s just you and your spouse at the end of the day.  My marriage is far from being perfect, and frankly will never be, but taking these things I’ve learned to action, has really helped the strength of my relationship with my husband.

I know that no relationship is not all sunshine, but there’s no other person I’d want to go through the rainstorms then you, babe.



I would love to hear other relationship advice from you as well. Comment with your best tips and advice!


(Advisory: I am not a marriage counselor and in no way am I saying this advice will help every relationship. I am just speaking my opinion about what has worked in my marriage.)